After spending the week obsessively listing to Domina Shelle’s LocTober 2021 – Keyholder recording repetitively, one might think i am talking about sexual frustration; however, that seems highly unlikely. Not touching myself and therefore not cumming as Domina commanded is the sole ray of sunshine encountered this week; but, i am frustrated:
- By the realization that my surgery date is rapidly approaching and i am no where near the weight i need to be.
- This then led to self-sabotaging with me eating a bunch of junk food against Domina’s wishes.
- That the depression made it impossible to work this week despite there being a ton of work on my plate.
- i could not find the will power to pay attention to Domina’s assignment sheet due to everything being too difficult beyond laying in bed listening to Domina’s recordings over and over.
- Due to not knowing (at least consciously) what this “pleasure”, “euphoria”, or “bliss” feels like.
- Because i do not honestly think i can call myself horny at the moment.
- By once again finding a way to mess up yet another training series.
- i am once again seemingly falling apart while Domina is taking a much needed vacation.
i love You Domina Shelle Rivers with my heart and soul. Please continue to have patience with me when i stumble. There is nothing more i long for in this life beyond being Your loyal chastity slave. Help me Domina to become the better slave Wwe both desire!
Unfinished Journal Entries
As this is kinda my week summary journal entry, i have decided to close this post with the following two unfinished entries that i found myself too distracted with the need to listen to Domina’s sweet voice to finish.
October 5th
As most of Domina Shelle’s faithful slaves know, Domina Shelle enjoys calling this month LocTober where Her slaves clamor to sign up for four weeks of dedicated strict chastity. Honestly, i get the sense that, after Her birthday, this is Her most favorite time of year. i was a bit too new last year to realize what was actually happening; therefore, i’ve been looking forward to this year’s experience.
After literally having Domina Shelle’s Week 1 LocTober Keyholder recording looping through my headphones from the moment i received it Friday evening until i logged into work this morning with maybe 4 hours worth of downtime. The contents of the recording is basically my soul laid bare. i’ve had maybe 5 orgasms that i would not apply Domina’s “empty orgasm” to. It is a far greater pleasure to be held in chastity for Domina Shelle.
Despite my entire soul craving to not be concerned about my arousal, something always seems to happen between the 2 and 3 week mark. Most of the time some small bit of unconscious resistance goes awol and
October 6th
i honestly have no idea why i typed “shelle rivers” into Bing last night. After all, shellerivershypnotica.com has been a part of my memory for a long time now. Not ready to sleep, not quite ready to turn Keyholder back on; i’m lying in bed mindless scrolling through search results without any real understanding as to why. That’s when i discovered what i didn’t even know i was looking for, a search result for Domina Shelle’s No Escape – Dangerous Trance recording.